6.01pm. The Boogaloo.

I’m not getting a bunker.  

I’m sat here writing this post at the bar of The Boogaloo. I
just drank an almond milk coffee, and ate some peanut butter and banana on
toast. Very tempted to have a glass of wine.

It’s a bank holiday weekend! And when you’re 24, have a
pretty good social circle going on in London and you live above a pub, you know
a long weekend can only mean one thing- buying bedsheets from Argos.

I’m pretty chuffed because the checked print ones have gone
down to £10.50. I bought a florescent bottom sheet because I though it would
look kitsch it doesn’t it looks worse than my room at uni now and smells just
as bad because Hutch (my cat) has a kidney infection and has wee’d everywhere.
Oh life.

I thought my sheets smelled a bit buttery too. It’s the only
way I could explain it, just a strong hum of a butter. Then I remembered that I
ate buttery toast when I got home hammered on Friday, the toast and butter went
mainly on my bed, and there you have it.

This week has been bloody mental at work- if it wasn’t for
NON DISCLOSURE I would tell y’all about it, but I can’t so I won’t but for
you’re (I’m talking to my future self now) reference dear penny, it’s the one
about the teeth, kay?

It’s Nottinghill carnival today, but I totes CBA 2BH. I
might go tomorrow with Yogi. It’s kind of gloomy outside and I found the whole
experience a tad underwhelming last year. I know that’s a proper party pooper
thing to say, but hey they’re my feelings to feel.

I’ve just been joined by a glass of wine. Hello wine. Hello
Jenn. How are you? All the better for seeing you. Ah, you’re writing your blog,
I like your blog. I like you red wine.

Now feeling slightly on edge because a few babies have
joined me. I’m not joking there’s three small humans by my side.

Work’s still gong well- Gina and Jord are gonna paint the
upstairs floor for a bit of dollar. I had to use my cunning to convince Andrew
this was a good idea. Also, sidenote- Andrew is slowly making his way to one of
my favourite people, like ever. I used to think he was rude. I still think he’s
rude but it’s too funny to not enjoy it. He’s also my managing director, so
that’s kind of cool.

I’m off to see father Crothers next weekend. He’s not a
vicar, it’s my dad. I actually think most of my blog posts would be 99% shorter
if I just said what I mean and didn’t say things like, ‘Oh the bumble bees
aren’t on their holidays are they BY THAT I MEAN the sun’s got his hat on, oh
it’s just a nice day here in London…’ Jenn, STFU seriously.

But I shan’t so let’s carry on.

Facebook just reminded me that it was someone’s birthday so
I unfriended them.

A new girl at work just started called Kate. She’s a social
media ninja woman and we had drinks on Friday to welcome her. We got an email
from Andrew on Saturday explaining that it was absolutely not okay for a bunch
of adults to get hammered then tramp chocolate brownies all over the office.

After we trod brownies everywhere, me and G went to see
Gerry at the Grump Club. It was also the Toast of London wrap party. I should
have enjoyed it but I was balls deep in gin by this point so I don’t remember

This weekend is all about sorting FUTURE JENN out. Not like
get a bunker incase WW3 happens, I mean like making my blog a mind-bending
experience (new header photo) and buy some Business cards. Actually yes there’s
a funny story in that- I tried to buy some cards from Moo last night (business
card shop) and when it came to filling in my job title I couldn’t do it. I
can’t fucking explain what I do. I tried to say I was, ‘Creative do-er of
things’, but I just sounded like I am unemployed and a bit of a bender. 

Oh also, very nearly went on a Tinder date this weekend, but
in one of his pictures it looks like he’s chopping wood and something about the
axe put me off. I still might, but I’ll have to let you know if this happens. Or maybe I won’t be able to because he thought I was a tree and cut my head off. 

Talking of MEN, a certain MAN… let’s call him Nathan… wanted
to go for a drink with me this week twice and then cancelled twice. Fuck you
Nathan (he will literally never see this so we can totally say fuck you

This might be over-share but my family are convinced I’m a
lesbian, so with some luck they’ll read this (who am I kidding) and realise I’m
not gay, men just find me really annoying.

All in all, I haven’t boozed other than right this second
and on Friday, so I’m feeling chipper, I might have a whisky, spice up your
people of the world.

Well done Crothy, you’re really nailing life.


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