I was supposed to take a KOOKY PICTURE of myself, took this one by accident and decided that it sums up my mood a lot more. A bit weary (say that like weeeeeery… like i’m a bit tired not weary like i’m weary of a wolf or something) and wearing (the prefix ‘wear’ is getting a lot of airtime innit!) my jazzy new shirt from the city of the state New York. 

So, just like the British public transport system and/or periods, my blog has been somewhat irregular. I’d like to throw it out there that it’s because i’ve been to NYC (the city of NEW YORK, which is A STATE and different to NEW WARK says Gina, dunno whether to believe her or not. Google also says it is so, but Google sometimes lies too. I’m in a glass cage of liars and there’s no doors on this cage. How the F did I get in, in the first place? It’s in my head, that’s how. I could be inside a banana if I thunk hard enough) AND I’VE BEEN just generally running around having a jolly old time SO FUCKING SORRY if you’ve been waiting by the Tumblr phone for me to call.

Last time I spilled out my feelings, I was having a bit of a sea bass mare (English slang for NIGHTMARE. You gotta say it like, ‘ermerged I was having a… *roll eyes* mare…’ but I managed to get back on my feet again which is the main thing.

So NEWYORK was bloody amazing. I want to live there, ideally in a pink castle but if not Manhattan would probs be cool. We met heaps of NICE PEOPLE, went to Times Square, spoke to a police man, then kinda came home I guess. I wanted to stay and hang out with my new friend ‘Ed The Second’.

It’s well sunny in London at the mo- and as of yesterday I got back on the gym band wagon. It was horrible. I went this morning too so i’m writing this at work with wet hair. I know my current status is always the icing on the cake for you guys. You wanna hear more? Fo sure my sweets- so my hair is wet, i’m listening to some smooth jazz, i just ate what is probably a bit too much peanut butter for breakfast (protein innit), a very small mainly grey man just popped his head into the office (MY office? MY sounds like i’m a lot more successful. Will come back to this.) He looks like he’d play the part of a ironically dull character in Emmerdale or something (Emmerdale is a really sick (sick is slang for good) British SOAP OPERA although there’s no soap or opera so bugger knows what’s going on anymore).

I went to NORTHERN IRELAND last weekend to see my dad. He got a dog. It’s called Gus. It gave me a bruise but I still love him. We got a train into Belfast and I wanted Dr. Martens but I looked like a 16 year old emo so I settled for some TopShop knockoffs. I still look pretty fly but not sure if I look like a total legend or just a bit of a legend. I’ll let you know in the next post (no, stop it! I shan’t tell you…. ok fine yes I do feel look a total legend.)

What else? I’ve started eating a boiled egg at lunch time. I think it’s important to put more protein… I can’t finish that sentence. Put it where? Surely I’d be eating the protein? Hmmm i’ll just put some protein on that chair.. and then i’ll put some… on the hat stand. The fuck?

So the egg is a good move. I invested in a jar of capers too- £2.70 was a bit steep but I mostly feel like they’ll last me a while. A bit like fancy hair serum, or a double pack of face wipes.

I’m gonna sign up to imrprov comedy classes. I dunno if this is arrogant or wholesome- My friend Stevie is a real life comedian, and I am a muggle, but I think having a hobby such as this will give me another talking point in conversations with friends family, and co workers. I’m stringing out my friendship circles because in the harsh light of day, my friends and co workers are the same people. Not like there’s two of each it’s just i’m a bit uncool and don’t have many friends. That’s why Gina needs to have so many different sides to her. Some days, I don’t even recognise her and it’s quite exciting. Sometimes I’ll tell Gina about my friend Gina. It’s like that movie Inception minus most things but you get what I’m trying to say.

A few weeks back I got stopped in the street on my way to see my love BRAD GREAVES. I miss him so much and his hair is like a golden river. Anyway, I got stopped and was filmed by this Youtube comedy thing. It was weird.

Mum’s coming this weekend. Probs go for dinner then she’ll give me a tenner and that’ll be that.

Kirsten is visiting soon too. She’s a dietician and recently wrote about poo. Have a look. http://www.thedebrief.co.uk/2015/04/what-your-poo-says-about-you#.VTZ5TqbCBFI

CHECK OUT THE PICCIE OF ME IN NYC. The other two pictures are just hilarious screen grabs that made me chuckle and I thought worth sharing. What have we learnt here Jennifer yellow hat? You’re a lazy typer, a dyslexic typer, Google is not a friend of mine, and you know perfectly well what a banana is OR DO I OR DO I it’s a herby flower plant. NOT A FRUIT. Oh and it’s a seed. It’s everything it shouldn’t be. I doth hereby crown you banana nothing which you are deemed to be, now go and give people indigestion. 

Right lets finish this mother F. Quick fire facts about my life:

Gina and I bought REDHEAD LIGHTS and are gonna start a proper thing.

Hutch got interviewed last night and it was weird.

Gina and I were speaking backwards before bed last night and I laughed so hard a little bit of wee came out.

Learnt that I have 1. No perseverance 2. no design skills. I tried to Jazz up this blog and now it looks horrible.

I like steampunk

Q: Does canned, tuna? 

A: Probably 

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