I haven’t blogged in such a long time that I won’t bother trying to remember everything has happened, or or this reverse psychology so my brain goes, ‘ah this is what happened’ or can you even do that on yourself, as you know it’s coming, like tickling yourself, it’s tricky.

Claws and I are going to Ireland yay! For Paddy’s day hurrah! I’ll get to see some magical creatures that dwell in pots of gold that I miss very much.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Lorde and Lana Del Rey, women in power and all that jazz. I’ve also mixed it up with a remix of Limp Biscuit and Thomas the Tank Engine. Is that how you spell Limp Biscuit? I wonder how that convo came about. Badass #1 ‘Hey I wanna make a hardcore rock band, what shall we call it?’ Badass #2 ‘What about a soggy digestive?’ Badass #1 ‘Don’t be dumb… Stale teacake?’ Badass #2 ‘I dunno man, sounds legit, but I think we need to demonstrate our opinionated views on society. Anarchy and pillaging- you know all that stuff.’ Badass #1 ‘What about Limp Biscuit?’… Ya see guys. I do wonder. Rolling Stones is a another, I wonder if oscillating pebbles ever made the short list?
In other news I finally remembered to bring my yoghurt to work. I bought it because Tesco own brand is 79p, whereas Sainsbury’s is 50p, so I bought some in advance, like 5 days ago but kept forgetting to bring it in. So I had that for breakfast this morning with peanut butter, apples, banana, and Alpen (posh muesli). Alpen can I just tell you is total crap. It was on offer (no wonder) but it’s completely overrated. It’s like a whole box of that stupid fluff you get at the bottom of Rice Crispies (puffed rice cereal), with the odd raisin thrown in. 
Anyways, luckily due to my yoghurt forgetting, I didn’t have to have an Alpen crisis every day, and instead made porridge downstairs at work whilst terrorising Felix and James from accounts.
My advert came out last night! It’s for Sudocrem and is my first ever, so I’m very proud of myself. And of course my wife Gina, and everyone else at the agency but mainly myself.
I’ve also started writing for House of Peroni (cheeky MC Saatchi project), whereby I interview Italian designers.

Italian design is delightful,
Therefore my writing must be insightful,
Collaborations and conversations,
Are what makes working in London so playful.

I bought a fancy head scarf yesterday from beyond Retro.

I bought a headscarf for my hair
It’s green entwined with Jade.
It was made from silk in 1972
But the colours will never fade.

Gina bought me a red rose for Valentine’s! I bought her bagels, which I thought made a wonderful ‘I love you breakfast.’

Roses from The Queens garden,
Or wherever they may grow,
It’s who gives you the flower that’s the precious thing,
Gina got mine from Tesco.

I went to the premiere of Monument’s Men, which was ok. I think Hollywood needs to get its hands a little more dirty if it’s going to do a war film though. Would have liked more gore, and less Clooney looking like he’s in control of everything. I saw some guys from GMTV which was pretty damn exciting. See picture one for little George and little Matt Damon making a pre movie speech. Oh oh oh and there was free popcorn, that was nice of George, to think of me like that. 

George Clooney directed a film
It was about The War and lost Art
There should have been more emotional scenes,
A climax, underdogs and a more powerful start.

Me, Jordy and Gina went for a roast dinner on Sunday evening, which was lovely. They even put mini sausages in the Yorkshire pudding, which was unreal. Look at me attempting to start in picture 8.

Sausages in my yorkshire pud
Covered with gravy and peas,
Half a chicken and five boiled potatoes,
I’d eat this three times a day if I could.

I went to a comedy night at the Bloomsbury on Saturday evening, then Christian and I decided to drain Soho’s supply of wine. Hurrah for wine! But nooooo to handing out chips to random men at the bus stop outside Burger King on Tottenham Court Road. I remember specifically explaining how impressed I was (to a total stranger) that I had bought the chips ages ago and they were still hot. You don’t get that at McDonalds! (Sorry McDonalds, I still love you, but I’m changing and my needs are different now)
Pictures 2 and 3 are Gina and I, enjoying a health pot from Crush, or was it Vital? I dunno… some health food shop in Soho. I dunno why I put the pictures in there, I think I like that we look jolly and I remember thinking that the vegetarian Dhal was a good choice.
Oh and would you just look at picture no. 4 (I mean I am looking Jen, I read your blog to look and to read.) It’s Hutch and I having our morning cuddling sesh, which always starts off well, purring, which turns into squirming, which turns into claws getting stuck, which turns into screaming on from both sides, a traumatised cat, and a sad Croth, with pulls in her favourite jumper.
I love picture no. 5. It was one of the headlines in the Metro. It just makes me chuckle every time. The article was quite serious but I decided to not take any notice and just slowly and awkwardly rip it out with one hand and my mouth and I was struggling to stand up on the cramped underground tram. All the London, ‘Suits’ could  see what I was doing, rolling their eyes at my immaturity. Bugger off suits, this is funny. Can’t you see? The pickles are being forced to apologise! 
Picture 6 is me wishing I was born in the 70’s, enjoying my new head scarf. I love the filter i’ve put on that picture- my skin looks great WHICH IS A TOTAL LIE. I love bumping along the different filter options, ‘neutral 90’s now gal ride a bike that’s broken’ ‘vintage lula bell field day beauty leg jump wow unbranded stuff’… they should be called, ‘filter out everything but my eyes’, ‘false illusion of glowing skin’.
Picture 7 is more like it. I swapped the vicious flea ridden dirt bag (my cat) for my hot water bottle. Less smelly, yet with all the wriggly warm comforts.
The last picture (there’s a lot of them folks) is an advert I saw on Oxford Circus whilst walking to work. It pains me sometimes seeing stuff like that- no doubt they’ll get loads of attention AND business, mean while I’m trying to find out consumer insights into how eggs effect people’s morning coffee. THEY DON’T EFFECT IT, THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND PROBABLY NO ONE CARES.*∆

*This is a lie, but a close representation of my despair sometimes.
∆ I really love my job honestly

I think that’s roughly all I’ve been doing. I think i’m going to see my friends band play tomorrow night, then I’m off to Northern Ireland to see my family at the weekend! That will be fun indeed.

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