Well that’s decided then. Bought a ticket to London tomorrow, so I can sit and drink Heinken by myself in the Boogaloo, until the place swarms with people celebrating the imminent arrival of the new year. That sounds like I’m being depressing, but after all the hoohar, hum drum, wiffle and waffle of Christmas, I quite fancy it. So it will be less ‘OMG HI NEW YEAR LOOK AT HOW SHINY YOU ARE’, and more like, ‘there you are New Year! how you going? Fancy a cup of tea? No? Why? Because the tannin will stain your teeth. Yeah I’m lucky it hasn’t happened to me, I mean I drink so much of the bloody stuff haha… oh you’re not a real thing… and I’m essentially talking to no one? You’re right. Oh look i’m in a mental hospital. I like this white jacket. It’s a bit tight. Maybe I should have gone out in the end really, woopsies.’ Hmmm…

Anyhowzles. I’m now on a train, whipping through the countryside. My train goes directly to London, that’s nice isn’t it? I’ve just tucked into some chocolate raisins because I’m 100% boring.
Shall we look at some photos of my good self (for a change Jenn, go on then.)
Okily dokily. First up we have my good self (big up), in bed, looking bloody marvellous in the jumper (sweater) that my Granny knitted me. It’s truly my favourite item of clothing now. Secondly, let’s see… okay post shower (hence wet hair), wearing my second piece of favourite clothing- my Carpe Noctem T- shirt. Unfortunately this is not my original T- shirt from Summer 2012, that beloved little rotten item got lost on some horrific morning/ afternoon/ night on a boat/ alcohol puddle/ game of pickles/ touch the cup… I forget the details. Nevertheless, I bloody miss my darling Carpe Noctem. I used to be able to visit her lots, but since I’m now a real working person, I cannot. 
Sorry insert here- heavily regret decision to scoff half the bag of ‘yoghurt’ raisins and now feel queasy. 
Chocolate Raisins
Will give you cravings
For more which is a pain
As when eaten on a train
Scoffed down too quick
They shall make you travel sick.
Third photo is rather good. I am expressing my distaste. Distaste here means regret that I keep eating the disgusting yoghurty raisins, anger at their morishness and remorse towards the entire train event.
Thought i’d do everyone a favour and have my mobile phone murdered. Don’t worry folks! It’s getting replaced with an hip and happenin’ iPhone, so i’m officially joining the ‘modern world’. That’s thrilling isn’t it?
Yesterday I woke up, which is normally how I start my day. That would be slightly terrifying if I started my day unconscious. It’d be like a scene out of a horror film. I’d essentially be a zombie. But it’s okay i just woke up like a regular non possessed human, which is handy especially when using purple shampoo toner. If that stuff gets in your eyes then a nightmare trying to get it out. I probably wouldn’t feel the pain if I was a zombie, but I’d assume I would become human again shortly, by which time my eyes would be infected, but I need to go to Specsavers anyway. But I don’t like the idea of turning up with infected eyes asking them if I need glasses because they’d probably say, ‘holy shit, get to A&E fast, you’re scaring everyone Jenn’ (they’d know my name because I reckon there’d be some registration before an appointment + if I was in a Zombie film then some details would get glossed over, such as, ‘How did the receptionist already know Jenn’s name? (enter second person in this weird example of something quite simple) ‘I dunno- maybe there was a registration form’, and you see guys we’ve gone full circle, although both you and I have forgotten what the point was in the first place- ah yes, I woke up.) 
So anyway I spent my day with Donna, which was nice. We went into North Walsham, where I finally found Gina’s Christmas present. Just ate another raisin what is wrong with me.
Then we had some of Dad’s friends over, then we went to our neighbour’s house to see them. Had some wine. Advised their daughter on a career in the creative sector (all hail Croth and her oh so wise words of wisdom). 
Woke up early to have breakfast with Dad and Donna. Ate a bacon buttie, and now here I am, on the train going to London to bring the new year in.

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