I’ve always fancied Russell Brand.

Fancied here means I like the idea of snogging him, and looking cool as his girlfriend. Whenever I voice this, however, a lot of people say, ‘oh god, not RUSSELL BRAND’, as though I should go, ‘oh yeah, crap- I meant Boris Johnson.’ 
Anyway, it’s apparently not a good look, even as a pretend boyfriend.

So I find myself alone on a Saturday morning, not being able to watch any catch up shows as my beloved Gina is away and then I’d have to watch them again when she comes back, so I decided to watch the Paxman interview everyone’s been banging on about.
I read Russell Brand’s autobiography when I was 18 or so, and I don’t really remember much about it other than he wrote this amazing poem for his granny at her funeral, the last line ending something like, ‘force feeding jesus with tea.’ It was this poem that sparked my attraction to writing my own poetry.
Anyway.2, so I found myself doing a bit of stalking, as one does once they’ve sunk into a Facebook coma (whereby 7 hours pass and all you’ve done is look at your high school friend’s new babies, and watched countless youtube videos), and stumbled upon his diary entries. I would like to throw it out there that the man is NOT a genius, but he is one of the most amazing writers, in the same way Eddie Izzard can do a whole comedy sketch in french or german (neither of which I can speak or understand) and yet I find myself totally understanding everything he’s saying. I having got a monkeys about politics, or sadly any in-depth awareness of current affairs (probably because I spend a good 50% of my life in Budapest pretending the real world doesn’t exist.)
I love words like ‘Bandy’ and ‘Pamphlet’ and ‘Potent’. That’s about as diverse as my literary intellect can get. My favourite poem is the jabberwocky, just because Carroll obviously thought, fuck it, I’m going to just make this stuff up (not that Brand is making up words, just a side thought folks). Oh and Shakespeare should get out a shout out too. (and probably a lot of other fantastic writers (are they fantastic or do they just understand that society is always looking for something can interpret themselves. I mean really interpret, not this consumer content malarky, because you’re still essentially doing what the brand wants you to do, but really put your own cultural baggage on the squiggly lines we call ‘words’.))
My point being, how can one man use such lengthy and profound statements and yet still be (to me) completely coherent? I struggle to concentrate when someone’s talking about the weather. At first, it may seem he speaks in such a way as a disguise for simple messages he is saying, but I feel that maybe he is one of the first people to truly understand the meaning behind the words being used. 
Once again to emphasise, for me it’s less about what he’s saying, more that way he strings a sentence together. Perhaps that is the way to my heart?
‘Oh Andrew is nice, he’s got a good job, fancy car and LOVES to cook.’
‘Yeah, but what’s his sentence structure like? I mean sure, cheekbones to die for but can he differentiate between an adjective and a pronoun?’
Also, I was dubbed a female Russell Brand at a party on Brick Lane last week. I think this was more to do with my erratic hair, weird combination of well spoken/ Norwich accent, and the fact I use of lot of limb action to explain myself.
The whole point of this ramble is that it’s my blog, i’ll write about what I bloody well like, regardless if I’m consistently ill informed or completely off my treee. Britney is great, the Spice Girls were a revolution, McDonalds doesn’t get enough credit and sandwiches are underrated. 
PS- I just went on another charity shop binge and bought this carpet with a zip. I either look really quite trendy, or like a total tool. #Latter 

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